Winter!!

I knew that i felt colder this morning when i woke up and when i checked the temperature this morning, it was 0 deg Celcius!! Fuhh! Right now the temperature is 3 deg C outside but according to the weather 'thingy' on my laptop, it says that it 'feels like' -1 deg C!! Goodness me! So winter is here isn't it? Fair enough, since that it's the end of november going into december in a few days time, at least now it didn't rain as much as a few weeks ago. And we did have quite a good autumn - if you didn't count the whole of November which saw rain continuously for weeks until the city was flooded. Haha. Well, now that the colder days are coming, felt kinda glad that i'm almost prepared for it:

hot water bottle ==> checked!

thermos for warm drinks ==> checked!

fleece ==>checked!

woolly socks ==>checked!

scarves==>checked!

fan heater==> checked!

The only things missing for now....

a nice winter jacket and a warm pair of winter boots!

=P

Tooth Pain!

For the very very FIRST time in my life, i'm having a tooth pain!! And it's killing me.

Three mornings ago, i woke up with a slight pain in the lower gum but i didn't thought much about it. Thought it was just simply because i traumatized my lower gum by brushing too hard the night before or something. But the pain just amplified as time passes and it's so killing me now that i have to take painkillers for it. Urgghh.

I am 99% sure that the pain was caused by my about-to-erupt lower left wisdom tooth and i am 100% sure not because of caries. Just had an x-ray a few weeks back and my third molar was shown to be kinda impacted. Still, i didn't expect it to give me trouble so soon - was expecting for a few more months before that happen. But here i am, having a seriously painful lower jaw and complaining about it here. I know most people will tell me to see the dentist but...... i just couldn't muster enough courage to drag myself out the door and up the hill to the dental hospital even though it's literally opposite the house.

I know, i know, i'm a dental student BUT i am actually scared of going to have this checked because... because... the only solution for this i think is to have the wisdom tooth removed, which is exactly the VERY THING which i had been dreading for yearrrrrrrsss - ever since my very first attachment to a dentist. You see, removal of the wisdom tooth is the very very first surgery that i had witnessed with my very own eyes and it was not a very nice experience. Ever since that time, i had been praying really hard that mine will not be impacted or better still, don't grow at all. But seems like my wish is not granted after all. *sigh*

Ok, i know being afraid and avoiding it is not a good solution for it, which is why i am spending this two days trying to hypnotise myself that i am actually brave enough for this. Don't want to spent the rest of my second year college life with tooth pain. But until the day i'm ready both mind and soul, paracetamol will be my best friend for the time being.

=P

I Hate Myself

I seriously do. I mean, why can't i get over my obsessiveness? Why do i get angry or stressed out by these small things? Why do i have to care how CLEAN the kitchen is? What is it to me if everything is clean? I won't get to heaven for washing a plate which is not mine so why do i want to do it when i'm washing my own stuff? It's not only MY problem if the toilet is filthy right? Why do i even bother? I won't die just because of a few fleas or a few strands of hair right? Why do i want to care about the living room? It's not MY room so i don't have to bother with it right? And most importantly, who am i to say these are dirty? Just look at my own room - it's not even perfect! The study table is a mess, there are hairs and other dirt here and there, the bed is not creaseless, the books in the shelf is tumbling in all directions, so i have NO RIGHTS to tell others off or get angry! Why am i so 鸡婆 a.k.a. "kepo" a.k.a. sibuk a.k.a bossy a.k.a. menjaga tepi kain orang? Why can't i just stay in my own room and concentrate with my own things i.e. STUDY? AND WHY AM I SO STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW AND TYPING THIS POST NOW??????

I HATE MYSELF.

Early Holiday

Due to the flood over the city, suddenly we had a week of holiday starting from today until November 30th. Felt very weird because it never occured to me that something like flood ever existed here. Even weirder is that our lives in this area here seems pretty much unaffected and is still as normal as it can be but just down the road, people are being evacuated from the student accomodations there. For once we are actually thankful for the hill slope between here and the university area because thanks to it that we're saved from the disasters of the flood. Never again will i complaint about the tiredness/breathlessness of cycling up it. =P

Did not really witness how serious actually is the flood but saw pictures posted on the internet (here) and it really did seem quite bad. Basically most part of the city centre was affected and parts of the campus buildings which are located on lower grounds. And i think nearly all the student accomodations as they are located just by the river. Luckily this did not happen last year, while we were still staying at the hostel. Or else we will be the ones swimming around the place waiting to be evacuated.

Actually i am quite glad for the one week off as i can have more time to study for neurophysiology on December 1st. But the down side is, they're gonna replace it with one week of our winter holiday. So now our holiday will only start on the 18th for two weeks. Booooo.. How coincidental that i didn't make any travel plans until the 18th. Will be off to London, Madrid and Barcelona! Can't wait! Can't wait! =) Anyway, hope i will make good use of this 10-day "holiday" for the coming exams. See ya~

=D

Double version of my favorite song!

Here're two versions of 'What about now', which i can say is my favourite song for the moment. The first one which is the original one was sung by Daughtry in 2008 and the second one was by Westlife just recently. Can't say which one is nicer because both of them are great! But personally i would prefer the first one because it's Daughtry and more rock-ish. What do you think?

=)

Lamb of God

"Lamb of God"

For some reasons these three words touches me extraordinarily today. During the mass, the sentence "Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world" seemed to be jumping out straight at me from the sheet. Upon hearing them sung by the choir, i felt extremely moved and was on the verge of breaking down. Then when i got back home, i found this really beautiful song on youtube and it actually calmed the emotional storm which i had in me the whole day. I felt like i've found back the core of my life. What else matters but the Lamb of God? What are the little problems and troubles compared to what He had gone through? What are all those people compared to Him who died for me? Nothing. Nothing else matters but His love.

Your only Son
No sin to hide
But You have sent Him,
From Your side
To walk upon this guilty sod
And to become the Lamb of God

Your gift of Love
They crucified
They laughed and scorned him as he died
The humble King
They named a fraud
And sacrificed the Lamb of God

Chorus:
Oh Lamb of God, Sweet lamb of God
I love the Holy Lamb of God
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God

I was so lost I should have died
But You have brought me to Your side
To be led by Your staff and rod
And to be call a lamb of God

Chorus

Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Chris the Lamb of God

I am feeling a lot better than an hour earlier before i heard this song. I think i felt the power of the Holy Spirit working today. Is it because of my prayer this morning? "Holy Spirit, i need you." A really powerful prayer. Praise God.

=)

Bad Weekend

I don't care what people are going to say because this is MY blog and i don't know where else can i let out my feelings if not here. If people doesn't have the right to say out their feelings in their own PERSONAL blog, then i don't know what is the meaning of keeping a blog.

Okay, i'm in a really baaaad mooooood since this morning until now. This is seriously not a good weekend. Just realised that there idiots all over the place. REAL IDIOTS. And hypocrites. Who can't think of and for the future, or the present, or anything. And its all because of people like this that we became what we are now. So right now i'm feeling a bit emotionally unbalanced, and angry, and upset, and DISSAPOINTED, and guilty for being angry and having to blast out nasty posts like this. But i seriously have to vent out these negative feelings to calm myself down to STUDY, which i believe is THE most important thing here! So SH*T all you freaking idiots out there!

X(